It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
