Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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