I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
