8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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