Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sorry about my life...
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