We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Text me some of your sweat
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
