Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
