she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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