Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh god the rape fog is back!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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