never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
