"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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