I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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