I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
