So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
