whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
