i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
