His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
