We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
