Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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