his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
