my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
