you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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