Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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