So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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