Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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