I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
