it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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