the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
