To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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