Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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