I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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