You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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