I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
