its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
