Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The air taste purple.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
