That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
