She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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