how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
