I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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