She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
