Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
