Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
