I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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