You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
