Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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