Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
