I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
