The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
