Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
