soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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