I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
