today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
